Don't Know How I Got Here...

I don't know how I got here...not in that sense of the word. I know about the birds and bees, momma and daddy and the like...I mean how did I get HERE to my blog site today. I wasn't even trying to get to my blogsite and I must have hit a wrong button and now I find myself here. I don't want to be here today. My mind has seemed so foggy lately that I avoid my blogsite thinking that I don't know what I am supposed to write and are my thoughts clear enough to convey what my heart feels and thinks right now. I don't know if it just fatigue from taking care of a dying parent, the remnants of lyme or is this just me right now. YIKES, hoping its not the latter of the three. I miss work...I know...most of you are saying wow I wish I could have an extended vacation. NO, you really don't. We all get this sense of accomplishment from our jobs, for what we do everyday to make a difference in some way. I'm struggling with that lately. I look around me at a world that seems to go on with everyday life and I want my old energy back, I want my old mind back, I want my old life back. I guess you could say I feel stuck. I feel like the turtle that you stumble across in the timber that is lying upside down on his back wandering first off how he even got in this position to begin with...he didn't ask to be upside down, left on his back with no physical means of turning his now upside down world upright again. He lies there and just watches as the timber scurries with life around him, the squirrels gather their nuts...oh, yeah they notice that he is now upside down but what are they to do....so they scurry on their way continuing what their day was set out to accomplish. A deer passes by and gives the turtle a glance of..."hey...did you notice that your upside down?" NO really, I was just checking out what the sky looks like from my rounded shell of a back!! I had read a book once by Sheila Walsh called "The Heartache That No One Sees." in it she had wrote about the church and how we all march along as one happy band until one of us falls...the others pause for a moment...but soon they continue to march on, without even looking back. How many times have we failed as the church? How many times has one of our very own found himself lying in the timber, upside, with only a rounded shell to hold him up and no way of turning himself back over to march along with the rest of the church. In second Corinthians Paul is writing to the church in Corinth....Paul of all people has spent his fair share of time in the timber lying flat on his back wandering how he got where he was and how would he ever get out of it... there was even a point in Pauls life where he said that he was torn about dying or living. To die would bring life with Christ but in life he would spend his time teaching from his back experiences leading people to Christ and giving eternal life to those that knew no life. Anyway....in second Corinthians Paul is explaining to the church that in this life we will have hardships, we will suffer, we will despair even of life. "Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us" 2 Corinthians 1:9-10. Though my days and many of yours may be like that turtle lying in the woods. God has a plan....and he may very well have let us roll over....stuck on our back just so we'll be forced to take the time to see and focus on His plan.