Accountablility....

Tim's message this morning really had me thinking. Point three in his "Put Me in Coach," series spoke of "our" accountability for our redemptive potential. God has a plan for each of our lives......a purpose if you will. We will be held accountable for the "purpose" or the "gift" that God has given us. I heard a pastor once say that he was so glad that God doesn't still speak in an audible voice. Can you imagine the accountability we would have in that. In Judges 6 God sends an angel to deliver His word to Gideon. The angel told Gideon, "The Lord is with you, mighty warrior." But Gideon said to the angel "if the Lord is with us, then why has all this happened to us?" The Lord then said to him to "go in the strength that you have, Am I not sending you!" Again Gideon questions God and the Lord told him "I will be with you."

We live in a tough world today....everything around us seems out of control. I find it hard some days to maintain focus...to NOT be conformed to this world....but be transformed by it. Romans 12. I think this is a crucial time to for Christ followers to draw close to God, to be in His word with more depth and more breadth. To ask.....and then take time to listen. His voice may not be audible....but I still hear it, I still feel it. And though everything else seems to be in chaos I know that He has it all worked out. I was listening to a pastor the other day that posed the question. What are you afraid of?.........The worst thing that could happen in your life is you could die. Or maybe that's not even the worst.....maybe that will be the best thing....heaven awaits us. So what are we worried about. And what substantiates our worry.

Now just in God's conversation with Gideon alone, I think I would have fell flat on my face. Wouldn't we all die to hear an audible word from our Lord. We wouldn't have to question whether it was him or whether it was us. We wouldn't wonder what His will was. HE SPOKE IT!!! They had no doubt what God wanted to accomplish in and through them. Now we have to have faith in what God is telling us. Why did they question God.....for Pete's sake.....there's an angel standing before them. What were they thinking......or what were they NOT thinking. I think that would hold me pretty accountable. Yet we are no less accountable today. But Lord I could sure use an angel.....if you got one to spare.

You Are My Strong Tower.....

It's been a rather down week for the past few weeks for me. Never in my career have I ever had trouble finding work. I have put in over 15 applications. And I seem to get no answers, or I hear we are working on it. Something that looks promising turns into a week of back and forth phone calls, that seems to have gotten me no further than when I first began. I find myself wandering how this will all work. I have to keep reminding myself that God works for the good of those who love him. I know He has a plan for me.....but our fleshly patience begins to wear thin. I continue to praise Him in this storm and I know that He has never abandoned me nor forsaken me. I know that his plan is to prosper me, to give me a hope and a future. And that even when I don't see it He is working all around me. I see the stress of me not working is placing on my husband and his need to provide for his family and knowing that I can't lift this load. I keep laying it down at Jesus feet, but soon pick it back up again as fear and doubt creep back in. Lord help me. I do believe. I do trust that you will provide, help me to lay it at your feet and leave it there. I have no other choice. You Lord are my strong tower, even in these storms of life.

The Fragrance of a Father...

I remember having this dream....its been years ago now, but in my dream I was walking through fields of fragrant flowers. The colors were the most vivid colors I had ever seen. Each species of flower were in fields of there own....yellows, reds, vibrant purple and blues. It was as though I had just entered heaven. It was one of those dreams that was so peaceful, so breathtaking that you never wanted to wake up from. Fragrance does something to the senses. They say that our minds remember more from our sense of smell than any other sense that we have. I believe that. I think about some of my most favorite smells and the memories that they conjure up in me. Like the smell of my grandfathers pipe as I entered their house. The smell of fresh cut grass after a heavy dew. The smell of rain before it even begins. The smell of my husband as I hug him. I think that one really touches me the most, as it is the first thing that Morgan and I do when he gets home from work at night. We both give him a hug and his scent lingers. I recall my husband wrapping me in his arms one day and began to inhale deeply with his nose pressed to my neck. Of all the things that he has done in our marriage....for some reason this has meant the most to me. It was one of those inhalations that said I don't ever want to forget how you smell and I want to inhale so deeply so that your memory will linger forever. I wonder about heaven, what will it smell like, what will God smell like. In my imagination I think it will be much like that moment with my husband. I think that I will inhale so deeply that his scent will become so much a part of me. I can only imagine that His fragrance will be greater than any field of flowers, any fresh rain or any of my favorite smells.