
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Just Sitting Down in the Throne Room of God...

Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Redefined Life...

After mom passed Friday we called pastor Tim to let him know of her passing. Tim came out and sat with us until they came to take her away. After the undertaker left Tim took a moment to pray with my dad, Bill and I and something really hit me about his prayer for us he asked God to help us in this time of our life as we "redefine" our lives without mom in them. I had not really thought of that up until that point. I was living the day to day of caring for her needs moment by moment and had not thought of how life will function without her in it. It's taken a few days to reorganize life for dad and I we are still busy with tending to the preparations for family and friends to come and celebrate our lives and their lives that were spent with mom as wife, mother, daughter, grandmother, friend and co-worker. We know that the true realization of moms absence in our life has not really hit us yet....friends and family remind us that it really doesn't hit you for a few weeks after their passing. Moments come where the tears just flow and others are filled with such joy in knowing what her life is like now. I am beginning to see the redifining time. I've already picked up the phone and dialed her number to realize that there would be no answer on the other end. I've thought about future events and how the one person that I couldn't wait to share them with wouldn't be there.....Morgan getting engaged, Morgan's first baby, my life being lyme free, the selling of our business......As dad and I started going through some of her clothes I had this realization of how little value this life holds without salvation and the word of our testimony. What else do we leave behind....a pile of clothes, shoes, purses, make-up all of no value to her now. On her last days what did those things matter to her. What really mattered was that she had peace in knowing her Lord and that she would be spending an eternity in glory....what really mattered was the love that she left behind...what really mattered was nothing of this world. But all of an eternal value. Dad and I are redifining our life.....but one thing that will never have to be redefined is the love that we know of our father and the value of the only thing that really matters in the end....our story, our love, our legacy, and the word of our testimony.
Friday, April 9, 2010
A Life Well Lived and Well Loved.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Who Is Jesus to Me????

Sunday, April 4, 2010
What Do I Know of Holy....

I heard that song on the radio today and I've heard it time after time....but for some reason today it really hit me.....what do I really know of Holy? I guess its been more on my mind lately with mom preparing to stand before the holy of holies. Mom always had such a beautiful singing voice and I remember as a child standing beside her in church and just gazing up at her as she was singing....I was just in awh of her voice...it was so beautiful. I understand now as a woman myself that her voice may not have been beautiful to anyone else but me, but because she belonged to me and because of my deep love for my mother it was as nothing I had ever heard before. I wonder if that's what God hears when He hears us sing to Him. Does he look at what he created, the son or daughter that he loves so dearly and stand there in awh of the sound of our voices as we worship Him. I had the opportunity to sit in the back of the sanctuary this morning something pastors don't get the opportunity or the joy to do very often.....but as I stood there singing I could hear the echo of voices that sang to the King of Kings, the holy of holies. I got goose bumps as I just absorbed the sound. Of course I have attended this church for years now and I can walk you up and down the rows and tell you of each of the stories of lives that have been transformed by a Holy God. Lives broken by divorce, bankrupcy, infidelity, addictions and even imprisonment. I can't help but feel a smile inside when I see their and my life transformed from surrendering to a higher calling. I sat their this morning and gazed at three of the known addicts that now live a life free of addictions and full of love and adoration for a God that delivered them. All serving God and his purposes now. But yet what do they really know of Holy? What do I really know of Holy? I have never stood face to face with someone so radiant with holiness that my eyes could not even gaze upon them. So when I see God I see only what my small imagination can fathom. I so wish mom could send a note from heaven I'm sure it would say.....My dearest Tim and Tammy....I wish you could see what I am seeing right now. His brilliance is that of the brightest sun yet a hundred times brighter. The train of his robe fills the temple and the sounds of the cherubum singing Holy...Holy....Holy is like nothing you have ever heard. I can't wait to show you all the beauty that surrounds me and the fragrances are so magnificiant the smell of fields of vivid flowers all in various colors...it is all to stunning to tell you about. So what do I know of Holy? Nothing until the day that I stand before the king of kings and Lord or Lords and He shows me.......HOLY!
Friday, April 2, 2010
You Heard My Cry....

God never ceases to amaze me. As mom rallied around last night and this morning I knew her time was drawing to a close. She said this morning that she was afraid to die. God in his infite grace gave me
Psalm 116
I love the Lord for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. THE CORDS OF DEATH ENTANGLED ME, THE ANGUISH OF THE GRAVE CAME UPON ME; I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. THEN, I called on the name of the LORD: "O LORD, save me!" The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The LORD protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me. Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you. For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, tha I may walk before the LORD in the land of the living. I believed therefore, I said, "I am greatly afflected." And in my dismay I said, "All men are liars." How can I repay the LORD for all his goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the LORD. I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people. Precious in the sight of the LORD is death of his saints. O LORD, truly I am your servant; I am your servant the son of your maidservant, you have freed me from my chains. I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the LORD. I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people, in the courts of the house of the LORD-in your midst, O Jerusalem. PRAISE THE LORD
Notice how the name of the LORD is in all caps numerous times as the Jewish faith believes the true name of the LORD-YAHWEH was to reverent to be spoken. But to me, he is my God, my savior, my LORD, MY YAHWEH. Today Lord we lay mom from our arms to yours may she once again know laughter, joy and the beauty of your face. You are good Lord and worthy to be praised.
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